The
Smoking RoomThe
Smoking Room His benefits may be
considered as parallel to what are called comforts or conveniences in
arrangements of a
personal nature: like an easy chair or a good fire, which do their part
in
dispelling cold and
fatigue, though nature provides both means of rest and animal heat
without them.
The true gentleman
in like manner carefully avoids whatever may cause ajar or a jolt in
the minds of those
with whom he is cast; -- all clashing of opinion, or collision of feeling,
all restraint, or
suspicion, or gloom, or resentment; his great concern being to make every
one at their ease
and at home. He has his eyes on all his company; he is tender towards
the bashful, gentle
towards the distant, and merciful towards the absurd; he can recollect
to whom he is speaking;
he guards against unseasonable allusions, or topics which may
irritate; he is seldom
prominent in conversation, and never wearisome.
He makes light of
favours while he does them, and seems to be receiving when he is
conferring.
He never speaks of himself except when compelled, neverdefends himself
by a
mere retort, he has
no ears for slander or gossip, is scrupulous in imputing motives tothose
who interfere with
him, and interprets everything for the best.
He is never mean or
little in his disputes, never takes unfair advantage, never mistakes
personalities or
sharp sayings for arguments, or insinuates evil which he dare not say out.
From a long-sighted
prudence, he observes the maxim of the ancient sage, that we should
ever conduct ourselves
towards our enemy as if he were one day to be our friend.
He has too much good
sense to be affronted at insults, he is too well employed to
remember injuries,
and too indolent to bear malice. He is patient, forbearing, and
resigned, on philosophical
principles; he submits to pain, because it is inevitable, to
bereavement, because
it is irreparable, and to death, because it is his destiny. If he
engages in controversy
of any kind, his disciplined intellect preserves him from the
blunder. [From
John Henry Cardinal Newman, The Idea of a University, 1852]
Welcome to
the elegance and thrill of New Europa. To thrive in this refined
society, you will need wits and charm, breeding and connections.
You will need to be comme il faut; this is The
Test of a Lady and Gentleman. You cannot hope to succed without
at least some basic knowledge of the rules of etiquette, in Polite
Society, at Home and Abroad :
