It all started with an article on Salon.com, "Gamers to forfeit identities to sell video game". Somehowthis inspired, truly inspired our friend Shawn Connor. He wrote:
[Can you imagine calling into a CS center?]
CS: Can I get your name please?
Turok: Turok.
CS: I... see. Your last name?
Turok: No last name. Just Turok.
CS: Oh-kay. Your account number?
Turok: <gives account number>
CS: That account's under the name "Fred Beetlebrow".
Turok: There is no Fred Beetlebrow. Fred Beetlebrow was weak. Now there is only Turok.
CS: All right, Mr. Beetlebrow-
Turok: Turok!!
CS: Right, Mr. Turok. Can you please hold a moment?
Turok: If Turok must.
<There's a click, and Turok hears jazzy hold music while the CS reps take a minute to laugh at his expense>
CS: <click> Aheh... All right, Mr... Turok. We just need to ask a few questions to fill in your account history. Can I ask your occupation?
Turok: Dinosaur hunter.
CS: Pardon?
Turok: Dinosaur hunter! Turok hunts dinosaurs!
CS: Hold please.
<click. Jazzy music>
CS: <click> Hrm. Okay, well, that qualifies under our 'high risk' category, I'm afraid we may have to raise your rates.
Turok: No, little man! Turok is strong and skillful! Hunting dinosaurs is not high risk for Turok!
CS: Sorry, I'm afraid we have to go by our list. Dinosaur hunting is ranked in the top five most dangerous jobs, right above Tomb Raiding. <muffled sniggers>
Turok: You mock Turok! Let Turok speak to your manager!
CS: <trying desperately to hold back laughter> Oh, no, sir. We would never mock Turok. In fact, I was telling my friend Mario just the other day... <burst of laughter drowns out his voice>
<Turok slams receiver down>
Turok: Nobody ever takes Turok seriously.
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Credits: Copyright Shawn Connor, 2002. This site copyright Sophie Lagacé, 2002-2003.