Exiting the building, it is not difficult for the two to spot the taxi area (since there is a large sign which says "TAXI" on the sidewalk in front of it, and the curb is painted red). Parked there are two vehicles, as unlike as unlike can be.
The first is a sleek, black limousine with tinted windows. Its paint job is impeccable, the chrome is shined, even the hubcaps are clean. The only indication that it is, in fact, a taxicab is the small light on the roof with the words "Total Taxi" written on it. The light is currently on, indicating that the cab is available.
Behind it is a 1972 powder blue Dodge Dart which has seen many, many better days. There are numerous dents in fenders and body, the paint is scratched and old, one of the hubcaps is missing, there is a crack in the windshield, and the vehicle looks, well, its age. Rather than a light on top there is a placard stuck to the side of the door reading "GIOVANNI'S CABS". Prominently mounted on the right side of the windshield are the red dagger emblem of Safe n' Sound (the same emblem that the concierge was wearing), a sticker showing the astrological symbol of Aries the ram, and a rather official looking registration card with the letters "CPC" prominently displayed at the top in reflective red letters..
As if the contrast of these two vehicles was not enough to give the two pause, the contrast between the two drivers is even more striking. Standing near the rear passenger door of the limousine is a large man in an impeccably cut chauffeur's uniform and cap, wearing mirrored sunglasses. As Kitty and Leo look him over, he leans and opens the door, nodding and tipping his hat politely. The very friendliness of the gesture causes the two to move forward for a better look.
Both come to a screeching halt, however, as the driver's side door of the Dart flies open and a tiny apparition erupts from it. A small woman of Asian ancestry leaps out of the Dart and begins screaming at the man by the limousine in some rapid-fire sing-song asian language. She is thin to the point of anorexia, and although she appears young her hands are like those of a skeleton, and the skin of her head is drawn so taut that one can see the muscles beneath. Her clothing is an eclectic mix of baggy pants and sandals with a stained tee shirt with the logo of the Black Death Theater Troupe emblazoned across it, and she has a large, unlit cigar firmly clenched between her teeth. As the two Burger watch she catapults onto the hood of the Dart, spits venomously in the direction of the limousine, and begins some sort of chant, waving her bony hands in the air. After a moment she begins to dance on the hood of the vehicle as well.
For his part, the man beside the limousine at first appears not to notice anything amiss, but after the woman jumps off the hood of the car and begins to advance in his direction - still hissing and spitting on the rear fender of the limo - he sighs and shakes his head, closes the car door, and goes back to standing by his vehicle.
Instantly, the woman stops her weird dance and her wailing chant, and walks (or rather struts) back in the direction of her cab. She leans against the hood of the Dart and gives the two Burger a smug grin.
"Oh no not this time!" moans Kitty, giving the woman a look over. "Leo, I'm not getting involved in a conversation with another maniac until I'm damn near and ready... and I ain't ready. Excuse me, ma'am, but can you get off the car so we can leave?"
Leo looks at the shiny Total Taxi sedan, then at the Giovanni's Dodge Dart, then at Kitty. A deep sigh escapes him as he shakes his head with a look of defeat. "Uh, Kitty, I'll bet the rates are pretty different," he says softly. "How about you ask the driver for Total Taxi, and I'll check with, um, the other cabbie. At least she's not standing on the car anymore..."
Kitty nods, and walks up to the dravier of the sedan. "Excuse me, sir, but would you tell me what the cost would be to Kuan's Academy in the Flowers Barrio?" she asks, smiling slightly from disbelief of the womans antics.
Warily, Leo approaches the colourful driver of Giovanni's Cab. "Good afternoon, ma'am," he says politely. "What are your rates to get to Kuan Tun's Black Belt Academy in Flowers? And do you have discounts for an extended itinerary, if I want to stop at other points in addition to Kuan Tun's?"
The woman regards Leo with sunken eyes. Her English is flawless. "Flowers? That'll be around $20.00, Mac, depending on traffic. As for an 'extended itinerary' I don't drive to Arms and I don't drive to Great Men and I don't drive to Skylla and I don't drive to Freedom City. If that isn't a problem then we can work something out if you tell me what you have in mind."
She pulls a huge and somewhat mashed cigar out of a pocket, lights it, and leans back against the fender of the Dodge, scratching under one armpit.
Leo thanks the cabbie politely, adding: "I have to check with my companion if that is all right with her. I'll be right back." He starts walking back towards Kitty to hear what she found out about Total Taxi's rates. They sure look expensive...
Walking over and smiling to Leo, Kitty asks, "Did you get a better price? Basically, to get to Kuan Tun's and around town it would cost $100.00 or more. Nice price for a limo, especially with the options, but I think we should make sure we have a good job before we start paying something like that."
"Oooookaaay," exclaims Leo in appreciation of the price quoted by Total Taxi. He gestures towards the other cab. "Well, Giovanni's up front prices are a bit more affordable than that. About $20 to get to Kuan's, or rather to Flowers, and we can make a deal for more stops. The... state of repair of the cab is not on par, but hey, you get what you pay for. Or sometimes less. I think we ought to stick to what we can afford..." He shakes his head, clearly stunned by Al Amarjan prices.
Kitty nods. " I totally agree with you... We should stick with the things that we can afford." Looking back at the luxury taxi, she sighs. "That kind of life must be interesting..."
Leo hurries to open the cab door -- and brush any crumbs and debris off the seat -- for her, before getting in as well. There's all kinds of stuff in the back seat - food wrappers, a sweater, a couple of books, etc. It smells a bit musty too.
"Oh, just shove that shit over to the side," says the driver, hopping into the front seat.
Leo gives a half-apologetic smirk to Kitty, and finishes clearing a spot for her, then for himself. He brushes off the junk, puts the sweater under the rear window, and picks up the books with more care.
Smiling at the kindness and gentleman actions of Leo, Kitty responds with "Why, thank you, Leo! You sure do know how to treat a lady!" as she steps into the back seat of the cab. "Driver, Flowers Barrio, please".
Once on board, Leo checks the book titles with curiousity; what would the odd driver's reading tastes be? Most of the books appear to be in Chinese (or some other Asian alphabet - Leo can't really tell them apart). The couple that he can read are a trashy Zane Grey western, a book on brewing beer at home, and a book of zen koans.
Kitty gives the instructions to go to Flowers, and Leo leans forward to add: "We have several places to visit in Flowers: Kuan Tun's Black Belt Academy, 111 Lost Lane; Breakneck Café, 170 Plaza of Flowers; Myron's Gym, also on the Plaza; and for Kitty, maybe Aries, on the Plaza, since they do security. For me, clubs where I might get a gig, such as Sad Mary's Bar and Grill, on the Plaza; Burger Burger, 235 The Ramble; and The Space, also on The Ramble."
The driver slams the car noisily into gear, jerking away from the curb and into traffic. "Twenty bucks will get you to the Plaza, and you can walk from there! I don't go to the Ramble, cuz its closed to traffic but I can get you close. "
Leo points out the Aries sticker in the cab's window for Kitty's benefit. "We also wanted to some employment agencies; do you happen to know where Deadly Temptations is, by any chance? Or Frenum Martial Arts Studio? And we wanted to go to Found Hope Agency, but that's in Great Men. Why did you say you don't go in Great Men's Barrio, ma'am? And what kind of rate would you charge for taking us around Flowers like that?"
"I said I don't go to Great Men cuz I don't go to Great Men, burger! Why did you think? You think maybe I'm talking just to hear the sound of my... WATCHWHEREYOU'REGOINYOUSONOFAWHORE!" the driver leans on the horn and sticks one arm out the driver's side window - middle finger prominently raised. "If you want me to wait I charge $20.00 an hour - you go for an hour and one minute, you owe me $40.00. Frenum Martial Arts is in Scylla. Deadly Temptations is in the Plaza of Gold."
Kitty frowns. "Excuse me, ma'am, but I was wondering what the reason for not going into Great Men's is? Bad Neighborhood?" She looks at Leo quizzically
"Heh, you said it!" the cabbie replies.
The building that the Dart pulls up in front of is unremarkable, and looks like just about any martial arts studio that Leo and Kitty have ever seen - windows covered by bamboo, and brush stroke lettering on the door spelling out "Kuan Tun's Black Belt Academy".
"This is the place!" yells the driver (far too loudly). "I'll wait for you out here! Don't forget I'm on the clock!"
Kitty and Leo hop out of the cab and head for the door. Leo notes that there is a sticker on the window showing the symbol of Aries the ram. Just at that moment a group of five men rounds the corner. Although three of the five have olive complexions, all are blonde (most from bleaching their hair) and have thick, rich beards. They wear their hair long. All are dressed in leather jackets embroidered with the symbol of Aries the ram. They are talking animatedly, but do not appear hostile. They heads directly towards Kuan Tun's Black Belt Academy.
Kitty looks at the mens feet, to see if they have shoes on or not. The men do indeed have shoes - boots to be more specific. "Well," she says, "except for the windows covered with bamboo, it sure looks like a dojo at home. Do you want to come inside, Leo? I will try to keep it under a few minutes."
Leo nods to Kitty. "I'm right with you." He gives a pleasant smile to their energetic driver, adding: "We shouldn't be too long."
With a long-legged stride, he follows Kitty into a realm he knows little of, but where she seems perfectly at ease. This dojo place is as mysterious to him as his own world is to most people. As they walk towards the front door, he takes in the neighbourhood atmosphere and the style of the five young men walking in . He shrugs. His own origins were not any richer, and while he doesn't have any nostalgia for slums, he doesn't feel particularly out of place -there-. He grimaces, remembering some unsavoury moments of his own past.
"Maybe those are the security people from Aries, coming in for their training," he murmurs to Kitty, referring to the young men. "If so, you'll get to find out whether they're any good. But if you have to have the, um, corporate look to work for Aries, you'll have a hard time growing that beard!" He chuckles gently at Kitty's expense.
Kitty looks around the dojo to find the sensei. Smirking at Leo's comment, she muses, "I could always go and get one glued on. There is an area that we might be stepping in that you will want to take your shoes off for. Best thing to do is follow my lead, unless you have been in places like this before."
Leo obeys Kitty's instructions and takes off his shoes, thankful that he is not wearing the clown shoes, nor socks with holes in them. His current footgear is perfectly clean and conventional. He follows Kitty's lead regarding when and where to remove the shoes, and where to leave them. Crossing his fingers in the hopes the shoes will still be there when he walks out, he memorises their location ("Now, where did I park my shoes?..."), and follows Kitty.
As Leo and Kitty approach the door the group of men passes close by. One spies Kitty and cries in a loud, booming voice "HO! LOOK MY FRIENDS! A MAIDEN!" The group stops and turns in the direction of Leo and Kitty, and the man who spoke steps forward.
"COME MAIDEN!" he cries, still loudly, "COME WITH US! ENJOY OUR HOSPITALITY! WE ARE CELEBRATING A GREAT VICTORY AND TODAY THERE WIL BE FEASTING AND MERRIMENT! WINE WILL FLOW LIKE WATER, AND THERE WILL BE MANY ENTERTAINMENTS AND GOOD FOOD!" He glances at Leo for an instant. "EVEN YOUR SKINNY THRALL IS WELCOME SHOULD HE SO CHOOSE! COME MAIDEN! COME AND FEAST WITH US!"
The others nod in a good-natured manner and shout encouragements to their friend. Nobody in the group appears hostile, just boisterous. Upon closer inspection, one has a black eye, another a swollen lip, and all of them have minor cuts and abrasions on their knuckles. These do not seem to be dampening their spirits, however.
Looking at Leo, Kitty winks. "They don't know you very well, do they? Well, Kaila always likes a big party, guess you could say it's in the blood but -- thank you for the invitation, but we will only be here for a short time and then we have other arrangements."
Leo smiles a bit when he hears himself referred to as Kitty's "skinny thrall". He is thankful that the young men seem only playful right now, but doesn't necessarily trust this mood to remain. He stays alert; if the bar brawl was painful, how much worse would a skirmish in a dojo get?
"I hope this is the beginners' class," he whispers to Kitty, too low for anyone else to hear. Hopefully.
He carefully follows his companion's cues.
The large blonde men do not seem to take Kitty's refusal amiss. The one who spoke before laughs. "Perhaps you are wise, maiden," he says poking a finger towards Leo's abdomen (which the skinny circus acrobat narrowly avoids with a yelp) "your thrall might have been injured."
He turns, "LET US FEAST! LET US CELEBRATE!"
With that the group heads off down the street - still laughing, still boisterous. Kitty comments while the gentlemen leave, "Maybe later, where are you going to celebrate?" Looking to Leo and talking softly, she adds "It could be a good way to get to know this area and add a little protection while in it." Kitty and Leo head inside.
Kuan Tun's Black Belt Academy is rather quiet and inostentatious. There is the inevitable front desk and the inevitable area for removing one's shoes, and even a small unisex changing room off to one side. There are various martial arts weapons hanging from one wall, ranging from reasonably recognizable by anyone who has seen a martial arts movie (e.g., nunchuku, tonfas, etc.) to obscure (deerhook swords, flying guillotine, kusarigama) to incomprehensible (two large crescent wrenches). Hanging from the ceiling over the front desk are two small bamboo cages. One contains a praying mantis, the other a cricket.
After a moment's wait, a man of about forty years comes out of the back room. Contrary to expectations he is not asian, but caucasian. He has blonde hair and blue eyes, clean cut features, and a well-muscled body. He is not wearing a gei, but an exercise suit of red.
"Can I help you?" he asks in what is clearly an american accent (Kitty places it as being Wisconsin).
"Hello, My name is Kitty. I called on the phone a few days earlier regarding teaching classes here. I think your employee's answer was 'silly burger, come down and try out'." Kitty notes that the person she's speaking to sounds absolutely nothing like the individual she talked to on the phone.
"OK," says the man, "we'll check you out. How about your friend there? He here for a job too?" he looks Leo up and down. "I think that Hop Sing is more your speed, so you'll spar with him."
The man reaches up and opens the cage with the praying mantis, carefully lifting the insect out of the cage. He makes some weird ratcheting sounds, and the mantis answers by rubbing a couple of legs together. This weird conversation goes on for almost 30 seconds, then the man shakes his head, and puts the mantis back in the cage.
"Sorry pal," he says, "Hop Sing says 'no way'. Your chi is too unfocussed, your chakras are out of balance, and you favor your right side too much. Take lessons. Next!"
He walks back onto the mat. "Let's go lady, you think I have all day? Name your style. Drunken Monkey? Black Lotor? Escrima? Hwarang-Do? Nito kenjutsu? Weapons or no weapons? Death or injury or first blood or two falls out of three? Come on, come on!" He strikes a cinematic pose. "Your kung fu is powerless here, old man! You have dishonored my school! Prepare to die!" He slouches back and folds his arms.
"Ready when you are," he says.
Kitty steps into the match area. "Death?? Kempo... no weapons and three falls. I've already been into a bloody fight this week." She is trying to say as little as possible as she begins breathing slightly different and focusing on the man.
While Kitty and the American man take their sparring positions on the mat, Leo eyes Hop Sing with raised eyebrows. Did the insect really...? Or did the man make fun of Leo with a well-rehearsed joke? The circus artist has seen a great many interesting animal acts in his career, including very well trained flea circuses, but... Ah, who knows, on Al Amarja! Leo glances at the man, then at the mantis again, then shrugs. "Me, I'm just here to accompany Kitty," he says, to no one in particular. Not that anyone seems to be listening! Or maybe the cricket's listening...
To Kitty's practiced eye the man seems completely relaxed - and completely unready. His knees are slightly bent but his arms are folded across his chest and his weight is not evenly balanced.
"Kenpo is fine, but not much for falls. If you don't mind I'll go with jiu jitsu for the first fall, and escrima for the second. Muton stay on the racks though. We'll see about the third round when we come to..."
Without pause or body language telegraphing he is sailing across the room in three perfectly judged steps, levering Kitty over his right hip and tossing her through the air. Kitty isn't quite surprised enough to fall for it completely, and manages to twist in time to land on her feet.
"...it." he finishes.
As the man closes a second time Kitty lands a beautiful snap kick on his chin that puts him straight onto his back. Hop Sing chitters from his cage, and the cricket starts making crickety noises.
"Did not," the man responds, rubbing his chin.
Round 1 over. Point to Kitty. Deposit 50 cents to play again.
The cricket, the mantis, and Leo are all silent.
"Told ya," says the man, helping Kitty to her feet.
"So, you ready to give up yet, or shall we do the full three rounds? I'll warn you up front - this time the stops come out, and it's Capoeira for you. Think carefully, grasshopper."
The cricket makes more crickety noises.
"No, GRASSHOPPER! GRASSHOPPER!" the man says.
At first, Leo cannot seem to decide who he is most perplexed by: Kitty, the man, Hop Sing or the cricket. But after Kitty sends the man to the ground in the first round, he starts to relax. This is one of those rare job interviews where sending your prospective employer down to sit and think is actually a good thing! He leans back against the counter, resting on his elbows, enjoying the show. He winces when Kitty falls in turn, but the important thing is she scored first.
He glances at Hop Sing and the cricket, then at the man, appreciating a good show when he sees one. Damn, but the guy and Kitty are fast! "Five bucks on Kitty," he murmurs to Hop Sing and Jiminy. "That's five for the both of you, not each," he adds hastily.
The cricket ignores Leo, but the mantis waves its front legs.
On the mat, the man waits impassively, but out of strike range, for Kitty
to decide whether or not to go for that third fall.
Leo stares at Kitty with undisguised disappointment. "That's it, then? You're not going for the third round? Zut1, that means I lost..." He pulls out a crumpled five dollar bill and lays it slowly on the counter in front of Hop Sing, patting it as if parting with a dear friend (the bill, not the mantis).
"Leo, what hotel are we at again?" asks Kitty over her shoulder.
"We're at Cesar's, in Sunken..." her companion sighs.
"Sir, I will call again..." Kitty then grabs her shoes and walks towards the door and the cab beyond it.
The man watches, hands on his hips, as Kitty grabs her shoes and leaves. "Hunh," he grunts, "I would have thought she'd go the distance."
"I would have gone the distance but unfortunately my wallet can not go the distance with the cab." She then looks at Hop Sing, then quizzically at Leo and then back to Hop Sing. "Intellectual creature, aren't you?" She steps closer to the cage and clicks her tongue, making sounds that end somewhat between affection and a squirrel looking for nuts.
Hop Sing merely stares back with inscrutable insect eyes.
The man shakes his head. He looks at Leo. "Hop Sing says, 'pay up!'".
"Yeah, yeah," grumbles the juggler. He leaves the bill and follows Kitty, stopping to pick up his own footgear on the way out.
Outside the cab is still waiting. The men seem to have headed off to feast somewhere else.
Finally realising what 'Pay up!' means, Kitty turns toward Leo and gets
in his face, letting a growl escape from her lips while mumbling, "How
dare you bet on me!"
"Uf da!" cries the man on the mat as Kitty charges. There is something gleeful in his voice, as though she is no more than a big toy. Kitty's first lunge is avoided with a classic manga leap that lands the man near the weapons rack. Instead of the more conventional weapons he grabs the two crescent wrenches off the wall. "Snap-tite!" he grins, twirling one in either hand. "Built to last a lifetime!"
Kitty lunges a second time and there is a mad flurry of blows and blocks too fast for Leo to see. When the man disengages a moment later his exercise suit is much the worse for wear, and Kitty is bleeding from the nose, apparently the victim of a sharp rap from a crescent wrench.
The cricket makes more crickety noises.
"I know! I know!" replies the man, "but she's got claws now!"
Kitty closes in again and another flurry of high speed Jackie Chan-esque combat ensues with the man doing back flips off walls while kitty slashes with large, lethal looking paws that draw some shallow cuts from the arms and legs.
"Woo! Woo! Woo!" the man cries, blocking a lethal strike from a very sharp looking claw with a wrench, then performing a back flip that Leo envies, and which lands him directly behind Kitty. Rather than taking ruthless advantage of the situation he tosses one wrench behind him, gives Kitty a slap on the top of the head, and cartwheels off with Kiitty in hot pursuit (catching the wrench as it comes down in the process).
The mantis ratchets its legs together just as Kitty leaps and tackles the man, and both go down in a heap.
"Hop Sing says, ugh, that he, um, wants to, uf, double down," the man gasps, attempting to do multiple blocks of inside punches while rolling frantically across the floor.
The mantis eyes Leo.
Kaila, definitely knowing what double down means, strikes like a cobra. She wraps her knees around the man, tries to do a back summersault and flings her partner across the room. Chasing her steps with speed, she jumps up in the air, does a flip midair and with body tuck has her right leg come down like a hammer on her opponent's body.
The circus artist has to make a visible effort to tear his eyes away from the bout and stare at Hop Sing. Leo's jaws is hanging slightly as he gawks at the fast and furious fight scene. He's seen some really good acts in his days, but these two are really good. He grimaces in sympathy for Kitty every time she takes a blow, but she seems to be able to take a LOT of punishment without noticing. For that matter, so does her sparring partner!
The billowing whirl of limbs and blows resolves itself into a short pause, then Kitty pounces on her opponent and they start exchanging blows again. The man's words finally sink in, and Leo turns to stare at Hop Sing. "She's going to kick his ass!" he exclaims. Loyalty to his friend forbids he back down now -- no matter how mad she is with his form of loyalty! Somewhere in the back of his mind, a small voice is complaining: "That's it, go on, she's going to beat the tar out of you next!"
"Shut up," murmurs Leo to the voice of reason. He plops another set of crumpled bills, all ones this time. He glares at Hop Sing. "I'd like to see where you keep your wallet!" he grumbles.
"YEEEEEEEEEE..." screams the man, rocketing through the air after Kitty's attack. He tucks himself into a compact ball, hits the ground rolling, ricochets off the wall, ricochets off he ceiling (!) and comes down and uncurls just in time to catch Kitty's flying "kick-o'-death" with both hands, and send her spinning back the way she came to land on her feet on the other side of the dojo.
"...HAW!" he finishes, eyeing Kitty with a boyish grin. After a moment's pause he continues "Mrs. Petticaris, you are a great deal of trouble," in a horrendous Wisconsin-Scottish accent.
Leo isn't certain if such a thing is possible, but if it is he could swear that Hop Sing is smirking. Leo stares, then finally lets out a breath he hadn't realised he was holding when he sees Kitty land on her feet. He claps loudly and cheers, carried away by this action sequence.
"Wowhee!" he exclaims. "That was fantastic!" He eyes Hop Sing and lifts his chin defiantly. "She's still standing, isn't she? She took what your guy had to dish and she's fine. Kitty rules!"
In an automatic gesture, like someone else might light a cigarette (ugh!) to relieve stress, he pulls three small beanbags out of his pocket, barely larger than teabags, and starts juggling them one-handed, his full attention still on the bout.
Landing on her feet like most cats do, "And how would you figure that sir?" Kaila lunges into a fake attack of sweeping the legs, spins around to her right and lands a hard kick to the country boy's shoulder blades.
The man spots the fake, waits for the commitment, then with lightning speed hooks Kitty's other leg out from under her before the kick can land. He doesn't quite get things all his own way, however, and as Kitty goes down her kick goes up, connecting with the back of his head with a force that makes Leo wince. Kitty manages a good fall, slapping the mat hard with both arms, but as the man comes down one elbow drives directly into Kitty's midriff, knocking the wind out of her. It was pretty clearly instinct, however, for the man, somewhat dazed, simply rolls over to one side and unsteadily pops to his feet, shaking his head and grinning. Kitty considers a follow - up, but decides to simply lie on the mat and gasp for breath instead.
"Kiai..." the man comments. "You're hired. And don't call me 'sir', I work for a living."
Hop Sing chitters. The man says "Hop Sing says, 'pay up, round-eyes'.
Ten bucks worth of bugs from Insta-Pet."
To Be Continued...