Legends of the Five Rings: Isawa Friends!

or: Our Next Campaign

"I'll move heaven and earth..."
– Isawa Tenchi
Earth Tensai, Isawa Friends Episode I.

"Hold on guys!  I gotta take a leak...."
– Isawa Kando
Water Tensai, Isawa Friends Episode I.

"Uh...  I don't get it...  What are we supposed to do again?"
– Isawa Baka
Void Tensai, Isawa Friends Episode I

"Ummm....what were we talking about? Is it time to go shopping?"
– Isawa Wen-di
Air Tensai, Isawa Friends Episode I

"Your ash is mine." *FWOOOSH!*
– Isawa Hibachi
Fire Tensai, Isawa Friends Episode I

"Great job folks, just great!  I really mean it, you people were just fantastic!  Its a pleasure working with you!  Now, I have the preliminary audience reactions from your first maho battle – overall they were positive but I think that there are just a few TINY things we need to tweak a bit.  Kando-san – I can call you Kando-san, can't I?  Great!  Anyway, audience reaction to your name was lowest of all the Isawa friends – it just didn't ring!  So the boys down in marketing held a little pow-wow and – just listen to this – 'ISAWA SUSHI'!  Sushi... fish.  Fish...  water!  Don't you love it?  Don't you think it sings?  Now, we also discovered that our positive reaction among shugenja was considerably higher than with the bushi demographic.  So what I'm suggesting is...."
– Yasuki Nike
Purveyor of Fine Isawa Wear, Isawa Friends Episode I

"ONE yojimbo?  For FIVE shugenja?  Uh, yeah...  sure, I can handle it."
– Shiba Ouchi
Isawa Friends Yojimbo, Isawa Friends Episode I
 
 

Isawa Friends...  Opening Credits

In the Great Hall of Kyuden Isawa... there are assembled the world's five greatest heroes.  Created from the cosmic legends of the Universe!

(stage hand cues the music...)

Isawa Tenchi !! -

*You see a horde of undead minions heading for a town... Tenchi is standing on a hillside raining boulders with pinpoint accuracy at each minion, missing them one by one...and ends up pouting by himself.*

Isawa Wen-di !! -

*You see her bargining with a Yasuki Merchant.  The merchant tries to swindle her out of several hundred koku for a lovely kimono that she needs.  She then proceeds to summon a tornado and toss the merchant several hundred yards away, and she walks off effortlessly with a new kimono and a smile on her face*

Isawa Baka !! -

*He's sitting in a dark room for a very long... long time.  Then, all of a sudden a brilliant flash of light appears above his head and he disappears and ends up standing next to the Festering Pit of Fu Leng and has a really surprised look on his face*

Isawa Kando !! -

*Thunder Guard from Ryoko Owari have thrown him out of the city for... ahem... urinating on a Scorpion courtier and gesturing rudely to Shoshiro Jocho.  He's found himself laying down face first in a rice field with a tooth missing from his lackluster smile.*

Isawa Hibachi !! -

*Standing in front of a large kitchen, he raises his arms and waves them about wildly... and manages to not only cook the dinner for the rest of the Isawa Friends, but manages to set the entire kitchen and some additional rooms on fire as well... and has a sheepish look on his face.*

*Announcer is off stage shaking his head... then continues.*

These... heroes are Rokugan's finest -- why, we don't know... but together they will fight for truth, justice, and the Way of Shinsei!

The Isawa Friends!!!!
 

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