By Edmund, to the tune of "Veteran of the Psychic Wars" by Blue Oyster Cult. This one was so close it almost didn't need rewriting.
You see me now a veteran of the Banshee psychic wars
I've been living out in space so long, where the Annouk battles roar
But I'm good enough to look at, and I don't act too crazy
All my friends are even worse off
They all have more mutations than me!Don't let these aches go on, my sinuses are killing me
I need some nasal spray
I've been lighting psychic flames
I've been frying Annouk brains
Oh please, don't let these aches go on.You ask me why I'm bleary, why I can't speak to you
You blame me for my honking, say it's time my nose I blew
But my flashbacks are still bad, dear, cuz I greased one too many
And I'm allergic to Armageddon
At least I took the oath of Unity.Don't let these aches go on, my sinuses are killing me
I need some nasal spray
I've been lighting psychic flames
I've been frying Annouk brains
Oh please, don't let these aches go on.You see me now a veteran of the Banshee psychic wars
My Strain is all spent at last, and my kevlar vest destroyed
My TSAR is out of ammo, and I think I'm in too deep
I'm getting shot to pieces
Where the hell is that hideous mutant freak?Don't let these aches go on, my sinuses are killing me
Find some Dristan now!
Well I know its rather rare
But there must be some out there
Oh please, don't let these aches go on.
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Credits: Lyrics copyright Edmund Metheny, 2002. This site copyright Edmund Metheny and Sophie Lagacé, 2002. Deadlands: Hell On Earth written and designed by Shane Lacy Hensley, copyright Pinnacle Entertainment, 1996-1998.