Fiction, Funnies, and Songs:

The VagoCave

VERDUGO: "You are sure?"

INQUISITOR BASCALLE: "Si, your eminence.  I have located the hiding place of Don Lucas Aldana!"

VERDUGO: "How do you know, Bascalle?"

BASCALLE: "I observed the cave most carefully, your menace, er, eminence.  In the course of twelve hours I observed the following to enter or exit the cave."  (pulls out list, puts on a pair of spectacles over hood, and begins reading).  "Ahem.  Two horse-drawn carts loaded with wine of a fine Soldano vintage; one twelve-piece orchestra; four carts filled with various foodstuffs including freshly baked bread, roasted fowl, rabbit stewed in wine, numerous confectionery treats, fresh fruit and vegetables, and a roast side of beef; another cart loaded with a four-poster king-sized bed and feather mattress; a cart driven by the local tailor containing twenty-four finely tailored purple outfits; another driven by the local chandler delivering an estimated 6 crates of candles; a troupe of 16 acrobats; and no less than 150 guests of various Castillian noble houses, all dressed in party finery, who stayed until the small hours of the morning.  I was able to overhear considerable mirth and music coming from the mouth of the cave."

VERDUGO (quietly) "Mirth, Inquisitor?"

BASCALLE (sighs heavily, puts away spectacles)  "Yes, your evidence, er, eminence."

VERDUGO: "Then we have him.  Dispatch Inquisitorial Goon Squads one through twenty four and Expendable Henchmen Alpha, Bravo, and Delta at once to burn the cave to the ground!"

BASCALLE: Um, sir?"

VERDUGO: "JUST DO IT!"

BASCALLE: "Yes, sir."

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