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Aldana Steel

Fiction, Funnies, and Songs:

Aldana Steel Top Ten Lists

Brought to you by Ken Grey (and then we helped a bit).

Top Ten things you would never hear Lucas say:

10. Boy, I'm looking terrible today, eh, who cares?
9. I don't really prefer the company of a woman at dinner, I eat alone.
8. You know, this whole Vago thing is just a waste of time.
7. Hey, bring me a bottle of the best Montaigne wine you have.
6. Can we go back to Eisen?...  No, Avalon!
5. Argh! Matey, I be a pirate aboard the Maris Stella now...  Yar!
4. Cool, Syrneth artifacts really make this place shine.
3. I've always thought that the Zweihander was a better sword.
2. Meryth?  Sea Queen?  I haven't the slightest idea who that is.
1. Sebastiano Villanova?  We are like THIS!! (fingers crossed)

Top Ten things you would never hear Constanza say:

10. I'm sick and tired of traveling, can we just stay home?
9. Look, I've already seen the 7th Sea, I don't want to see it again.
8. Who invited these idiot Eisen Mercenaries along?
7. We are out of firewood, burn the maps!
6. Who did you say killed Captain Reis again?
5. Philip Gosse?  Wasn't he our cook on board the ship?
4. What the heck is a Neibelungen?
3. BLACK FREIGHTER!!  Do I have to spell it out for you?
2. I don't know anything about a Giant Spear of the West Wind...
1. Captain Allende?  He's just a friend... honest!

Top Ten Things you would never hear Melisandre say:

10. Look, I'm tired of healing you Ferd, bleed on someone else for a while.
9. Tibold, yeah he's my uncle and he's involved in that great slave trade.
8. I know EXACTLY where Fidencia is... she's... umm... (glancing around, lost)
7. How did I get back to Bryn Bresail anyhow?
6. I knew I should have just kept a hold of that spire a little longer.
5. Cabora, it's for the birds... and Mumblety Pegs too.
4. That Zepeda guy was hot!!  Did you see the way he came onto me?
3. I think I've lost myself again, I seem to be seeing double. (as in herself)
2. I healed those guys during the war and all I got was this damn bullet.
1. Sebastiano Villanova?  Never heard of the guy.

Top Ten Things you would never hear Ferdinand say:

10. Damn, I'm looking smooth today.
9. WOO HOO!! I'm rich! I'm wealthy! I'm financially independent!
8. Is Sophia's Daughter that cute-looking?
7. Who invited the dog?  And what's his name?
6. Screw this war, I'm going to Ussura.
5. Wow... I should really keep this collar, it might come in handy!
4. Saint Gregor, oh yeah, he was the patron saint of parties, wasn't he?
3. I'm the saint, and Verdugo is the sinner... Got it, Inquisitor Paolo.
2. Oooh!  Look, a Drachen!  Can we keep it as a pet, Lucas?
1. Should I believe in Theus?  Nah... he doesn't exist.

And then we decided there had to be a Top Ten list for the GM too.  He made his own, which was good; Sophie made a less stellar one, and Shawn added a good suggestion too. Here is the result:

Sophie's Top Ten Things you would never hear our GM say:

10. I hope I wasn't too hard on you guys.
9. I don't care about all these Backgrounds and stuff, I just like to run published modules.
8. You're scared. It's basically very scary.
7. In the end, one player is pretty much like another. It's the system that counts.
6. You find three red gems, two blue gems, four purple gems, 2,674 gol... guilders, and a +2/+2 Syrneth sword.
5. I don't know about 7th Sea, I thought we could play Ninja Burger tonight.
4. No, I don't plan on ever buying that new sourcebook. *
3. I really miss Ron.
2. I've been working on my game all week...
1. This Deadlands system worked so smoothly, I decided to convert the 7th Sea campaign to it.

* He has to say it like he means it.

Edmund's Top Ten Things you would never hear our GM say:

10. The (fill in the blank) sourcebook? Sorry, I didn't bring it this week.
9. He's only an apprentice swordsman Lucas - you should be able to beat him easily.
8. You see a group of thugs approaching you. There are (any number but a multiple of 6) of them.
7. Sure you can be king, Ferdinand!
6. Jacques Levesque d'Aur throws himself to the ground at Lucas' feet, begging for forgivenesss.
5. Khered Din throws himself to the ground at Constanza's feet, begging for forgiveness.
4. Melisandre's evil twin throws himself at Melisandre's feet, begging for forgiveness. Oh - didn't I mention the sex change operation?
3. Ken, the joke's gone on for long enough - name the dog something else.
2. Dom asked if he could 'just drop in the game every once in awhile' and I said 'sure!'
1. Twenty XP for this adventure? Hmmmm... that seems a little low.

And Shawn disputed item no. 10 on the previous list, commenting:

Seems like whenever I need a particular sourcebook it happens to be the one you left at home that week.  However, I do have one more:

"Hmm... Six brutes would never fit in that doorway, so only two will be able to attack at once."

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Credits:  Copyright Ken Grey, Edmund Metheny, Sophie Lagacé, and Shawn Connor, 2003.