By Sophie, to the tune of AC/DC's "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" (1981).
If you're havin' trouble with your creditor
He's givin' you notice
You want an embassy but not in 'is debt
Here's what you gotta do -
Send a message
I'm always home
Call me any time
Just yell
Ferdinand we need you to clear trash hey
I lead a life of crime
Dirty deeds done dirt cheap
Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap
You got problems in your life of love
You got a broken heart
He's double dealin' with Potion Lady
That's when the teardrops start -
Send a message
I'm here alone
Or make a social call
Come right in
Forget your Lucas
We'll have ourselves a ball
Dirty deeds done dirt cheap
Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap
If you got a lady and you want her gone
But you ain't got the proof
She keeps a vial of some weird stuff
Enough to poison you
Sent a message
To her sister -
It's time you made a stand
For a fee
I'm happy to be
Your best tenant
Dirty deeds done dirt cheap
Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap
Snuffed brute squads, betrayals, and grenades
Done dirt cheap
Syrneth collar artefacts
Done dirt cheap
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Credits: Alternate lyrics © Sophie Lagacé, 2002.